Rave On

Buddy Holly's brothers tell a story about the Christmas that Buddy Holly got his first guitar. He had been asking for one for months. And so for Christmas his parents, who were blue collar folks, saved up and bought him a steel guitar. West Texas - steel guitar, not such a leap, really.

"Not this kind of guitar," he reportedly said.

As a parent of a teen I hear that story and I can picture disappointed Buddy rolling his eyes and loosely holding the package he tore open. I can feel his mother and father's disappointment that they had tried so hard to get him something nice that he wanted and he didn't appreciate it.

My own teen shows clear disappointment and criticism in the gifts she gets. Even the ones that she really wants and we got right. When she opened her MP3 player adapter for the car she snorted and said, "I can't believe you didn't give this to me earlier."

What gives me hope about her as a human is when I contrast her great excitement about giving gifts. She knitted scarves for her sisters. She bought things for Bill and myself. She put a lot of effort into wrapping her gifts so they look nice. And when her face lights up and she holds up my gift bag with a graphic of a martini on it and she says, "Isn't this the cutest gift bag ever? You guys got the best gift bags!" I just smile and agree and suppress the urge to roll my lip and say, "Eh. I guess so."

I recently read about how teen brains are different chemically from adult brains. This reassures me that she will not be this way forever, but it does not help me deal with it now. I will take a lesson from Buddy's parents who took it in stride, got him the right guitar, and, well, rave on.