The Grocery List

One morning, not long after I had moved into my first apartment, I used the last of the milk at breakfast. I threw the half gallon container away, and left for class. When I came home from work that evening I opened the frig to get something to eat and there was no milk to drink with my sandwich.

That realization hit me in the chest and traveled to my legs and feet. I was unable to move for several minutes. If I run out of milk, I need to buy more milk, or there isn't any milk. Obvious, right? Except that I had at that point spent my entire life with parents who made sure that if we ran out of milk, that there was more milk in the frig next time I went to get it. Oh the magic of being a child with parents who provide for your basic needs! I knew on some level that I was out of milk and that I needed to buy milk, but the shift from child to adult had not fully occured until the moment that I realized my responsibility for myself.

I am feeling some similar feelings now as I leave a home of a different kind. And there are so many similarities - the awareness of all parties that it is time to leave home, but the pain that goes along with that - the missing what wasn't working or fitting for you right now, which doesn't quite make sense. When I left my parents' home, it was time, but it's an emotional process and practical process to leave home.

I've left home and I need to remember to buy the milk. But? I can buy any brand or kind I want to buy. Or I can choose to drink juice instead of milk. Responsibility, but choice. That's the upside of moving out on your own.