Developmental Stages

My friend Lindsey and I once found a book in her parents' collection about child development. With fascination we read about what the 11 year old girl thinks about and feels. I remember being pretty shocked at how accurate it was. And later as a new parent, I read child development books and anxiously tracked my kids' progress - speech, walking, talking, reading - parents kind of obsess about it.

I have been fortunate that my kids reached milestones when they were supposed to and I have not worried about their physical or intellectual abilities. One thing that has worried me is Mary's distaste of music.

I get it that kids aren't supposed to like what their parents like, but Anna does. We did go through a brief period where she couldn't stand Bob Dylan, but after a slow and steady dose, she gained appreciation for him (like continuing to serve peas for dinner). Anna really is more like her dad though in that she leans towards an alternative rock sound. Her first concert was Wilco and R.E.M. at Red Rocks. It has really set the tone for her musical taste. She also has some more modern interests, which she and I share (Eric doesn't like rap or mashup, but I do). I would say that Anna has the most diverse musical taste of the children.

Frank likes more classic rock and roll and he likes it loud. We like to crank up Led Zeppelin, for example. He recently discovered the Beastie Boys and the girls both roll their eyes and complain. "Listen all y'all, it's sabatogue!" he yells at them.

Mary has worried me. She complains about my music a lot - the volume, the instruments, the singing. Mostly it's a volume issue. And she doesn't like lyrics you can't understand or distorted guitar (which might be my favorite instrument sound in the world other than a drum). She loves Simon and Garfunkel, but sheesh, there is only so much Simon and Garfunkel I can take. (Mary actually wrote Paul Simon a letter when she was about 8. She told him how much she likes his "soft" music.) In some ways this is not different than Mary's reaction to the world. Although Mary is loud and prickly, she does not like noise or bright light or fast movement. She has been like that since she was a baby. "Please, please, please turn it down!" she will moan as I turn the volume up on a song I like.

Recently we discovered that Mary likes New Wave - the mellow sounds of The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen and Joy Division - that soft, synthesizer sound? Yeah, that's Mary's rock.

I am sighing with relief over here as I put "soft" music on her ipod. She asked me to put The Social Network soundtrack on as well. I'll take it. It's Trent Reznor, afterall. Maybe I should add "Pretty Hate Machine?"