Lord Have Mercy
They were already on the Third Station of the Cross by the time I slid in next to Mary in the last row on the left side - my personal favorite too.
"You're late, Mommy," she whispered.
The children were spread throughout the church - every few rows. Anna was about three rows ahead of us with her head down.
"You're supposed to focus on the story of Jesus' life as you kneel," Mrs. Fitzpatrick told me, many years ago. I remember my teacher lectured us on our expected behavior during the Stations of the Cross - no talking, no giggling, no touching other people... Apparently the girls' teacher doesn't take any chances, since she separates all the kids from the get go.
As my girls prepare for their Confirmation next month, I recall my own Confirmation preparation. It was a difficult time for me spiritually (and sometimes I wonder, when wasn't it?).
When I went back to the Church I met with the Pastor and explained my situation and my life long issues which included forays into Protestantism. I expressed concern that I wanted my children wanted to belong to a church and I that had been unable to stay with any one church but that I could no longer deny my connection to Catholicism. Fr. Dietrich suggested that we begin by enrolling the kids in CCD.
I have found a renewal of my Catholic faith through my children. I think that Fr. Dietrich knew that would happen, or hoped it would happen. It doesn't begin to solve my issues, but it meets some of my needs and keeps me at church. It causes me to commit to attendance at the Stations of the Cross on Wednesdays during Lent. "I'll be there every week," I promised when the girls whined about their mandatory attendance, which is at the end of their CCD class. After the Stations, I was talking with Fr. Dietrich and learned that he had also recieved his First Communion and Confirmation at St. Mary's as a child. It's clearly a connection that is significant to him. How could he avoid thinking about that as he prepares children for the same Sacraments at the same church? And looking at the earnest faces of the kids, who pious as they appear, can't be trusted to even sit next to each other, how can you not feel the presence of God?
"Lord have mercy," says Mary's little voice next to me in the near empty church. I feel the weight of generations of Catholics pressing down on my heart and I feel as if I can't breathe. I can hardly pray aloud.
Lord have mercy.
"You're late, Mommy," she whispered.
The children were spread throughout the church - every few rows. Anna was about three rows ahead of us with her head down.
"You're supposed to focus on the story of Jesus' life as you kneel," Mrs. Fitzpatrick told me, many years ago. I remember my teacher lectured us on our expected behavior during the Stations of the Cross - no talking, no giggling, no touching other people... Apparently the girls' teacher doesn't take any chances, since she separates all the kids from the get go.
As my girls prepare for their Confirmation next month, I recall my own Confirmation preparation. It was a difficult time for me spiritually (and sometimes I wonder, when wasn't it?).
When I went back to the Church I met with the Pastor and explained my situation and my life long issues which included forays into Protestantism. I expressed concern that I wanted my children wanted to belong to a church and I that had been unable to stay with any one church but that I could no longer deny my connection to Catholicism. Fr. Dietrich suggested that we begin by enrolling the kids in CCD.
I have found a renewal of my Catholic faith through my children. I think that Fr. Dietrich knew that would happen, or hoped it would happen. It doesn't begin to solve my issues, but it meets some of my needs and keeps me at church. It causes me to commit to attendance at the Stations of the Cross on Wednesdays during Lent. "I'll be there every week," I promised when the girls whined about their mandatory attendance, which is at the end of their CCD class. After the Stations, I was talking with Fr. Dietrich and learned that he had also recieved his First Communion and Confirmation at St. Mary's as a child. It's clearly a connection that is significant to him. How could he avoid thinking about that as he prepares children for the same Sacraments at the same church? And looking at the earnest faces of the kids, who pious as they appear, can't be trusted to even sit next to each other, how can you not feel the presence of God?
"Lord have mercy," says Mary's little voice next to me in the near empty church. I feel the weight of generations of Catholics pressing down on my heart and I feel as if I can't breathe. I can hardly pray aloud.
Lord have mercy.
posted by Lea at 9:19 AM
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