Migration
I am exhausted this evening. Parent Teacher Conferences. An email from a Spanish teacher. Lost (new) gloves. Ungrateful, bratty kids who sidle off and pretend that they don't hear me when I ask for help. Picking up three different kids at three different locations after work and making home finally at 6pm only to start in on a sink full of dishes and a pork tenderloin and vegetables.
At least they ate dinner without a smirk.
I tried our usual quick trip to the YMCA with hoops and ball glove and it was a disaster. Shrieks and backing each other into a corner and arguing with me about the seating in the car.
We made it home and I sent them to bed.
"Stay away! You're stupid!" called one.
I lay on the bed in exhaustion and just wondered how it is that I continue at this Mothering Thing. Really.
"Mom? Are you ok? What's wrong?" asked the same child who told me minutes ago to stay away from her and that I was stupid.
I sighed. I helped her find the book she wanted. I sent her to bed. Again.
Bill, who stayed home from the Y to wash dishes and clean up dinner, was also done for the night. He actually went to sleep.
My duties are not done. Children are awake reading in bed. I will turn lights out soon.
I am already dreading the alarm. Not because I have to get up, but because I have to get them up. It starts all over again in the morning as I pull them from bed, cajole them to get dressed, brush their teeth, eat some breakfast, get their shoes on and go to "stupid school."
Sometimes I think that the real problem is that the kids have an Existentialist for a mother. Why does any of it matter really? Depending on my level of exhaustion I will level with them. "I don't know why. I agree. It's stupid. Do it anyway." Not the best way to motivate children.
I heard geese a few nights ago. They are heading North.
I am driven by a similar sense of duty - I just keep doing this parenting thing because I have to. It's the pull of gravity. I do not know why it is important to study and treat adults with respect and get exercise. I mean, I can answer it on a small scale, but on the big scale I really don't know.
Some sunlight would be nice. Some nice weather and daylight to send the children out into the yard so that while I am washing dishes at the end of my work day at least I do not need to have them bickering and nagging me. The geese promise me warm sun. It's why they make me smile.
I am not a smiley mother tonight. I don't feel like a nice mother tonight. Tonight is about duty and gravity. I will get through this. I have to. Sometimes there is no great reason. It just is.
At least they ate dinner without a smirk.
I tried our usual quick trip to the YMCA with hoops and ball glove and it was a disaster. Shrieks and backing each other into a corner and arguing with me about the seating in the car.
We made it home and I sent them to bed.
"Stay away! You're stupid!" called one.
I lay on the bed in exhaustion and just wondered how it is that I continue at this Mothering Thing. Really.
"Mom? Are you ok? What's wrong?" asked the same child who told me minutes ago to stay away from her and that I was stupid.
I sighed. I helped her find the book she wanted. I sent her to bed. Again.
Bill, who stayed home from the Y to wash dishes and clean up dinner, was also done for the night. He actually went to sleep.
My duties are not done. Children are awake reading in bed. I will turn lights out soon.
I am already dreading the alarm. Not because I have to get up, but because I have to get them up. It starts all over again in the morning as I pull them from bed, cajole them to get dressed, brush their teeth, eat some breakfast, get their shoes on and go to "stupid school."
Sometimes I think that the real problem is that the kids have an Existentialist for a mother. Why does any of it matter really? Depending on my level of exhaustion I will level with them. "I don't know why. I agree. It's stupid. Do it anyway." Not the best way to motivate children.
I heard geese a few nights ago. They are heading North.
I am driven by a similar sense of duty - I just keep doing this parenting thing because I have to. It's the pull of gravity. I do not know why it is important to study and treat adults with respect and get exercise. I mean, I can answer it on a small scale, but on the big scale I really don't know.
Some sunlight would be nice. Some nice weather and daylight to send the children out into the yard so that while I am washing dishes at the end of my work day at least I do not need to have them bickering and nagging me. The geese promise me warm sun. It's why they make me smile.
I am not a smiley mother tonight. I don't feel like a nice mother tonight. Tonight is about duty and gravity. I will get through this. I have to. Sometimes there is no great reason. It just is.
posted by Lea at 7:00 PM
3 Comments:
It's nice to see a human in a mothering role, not these women who blog about being super mom. Sometimes you're super mom, and some days you're just a woman with kids. And there's nothing wrong with either of those things.
I'm looking forward to better weather, too...but mostly because I got a new bike for Christmas that I haven't gotten to ride but once.
You make a good point. In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? In a hundred years, who's going to care?
Your grandchildren will care as they go through the same cajoling, threatening and pleading with their children every morning. They'll get the same treatment from their parents (your kids). It's a weird sort of tradition that you can't help but pass on.
Kids need to learn that their mother is a human being. They need to learn that Mom needs things too. Sometimes, all she really needs is a good night's sleep and a cheerful, "Good morning."
You will get through it. I have faith in you.
oh my god l i feel this in my *bones*. i'm hoping the sun finds you soon.
smarty
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