"Bad News Bears" Meets "A Separation"

The more time that passes the more I realize that "A Separation" was the best film of 2011. It is well written - the characters and plot make you literally feel as if your insides are wrenching. I love the acting, dialogue and set - everything, but it is the relationship between the teen girl and her father that transcends the dialogue, plot and the Iranian setting - it stands on its own and has stayed with me in a beautiful way. I credit the director and actors for this.

I was watching Mary's soccer team getting beaten by a talented but very rude team when I came up with an idea for a script. A ragtag girl's soccer team of new immigrants, African Americans and geeky white girls starts the season losing every game before the father of one of the girls starts assistant coaching and unites the girls as a team and leads them to a State Championship playoff game against their original foes.

It's a sports movie and I have never written a movie, so it will no doubt be clumsy and overly dramatic (not at all the movie I would like to write). It will be more "Bad New Bears" than "A Separation," but it is the relationship between the father and daughter that I want to emulate most - the universal parental love that doesn't need subtitles. My biggest challenge will be using authentic dialogue while keeping it "Family Friendly" (it's different in 2012 - notice that Walter Matthau is holding a beer in the picture - when it was remade a few years ago the details like this were taken out).

Trivia Question: Who wins the Championship game at the end of the movie? The Yankees? Or the Bears?

The Little Anything But Black Dress

I have had a lot of great outfits, but this pink dress is the most commented on dress I have ever had. It is not my favorite dress, but it is somehow the World's Favorite Dress. People stop me on the street, they stop at my table at restaurants, even the usually growly student at the ticket window at The Ross perks up and says, "I like your dress!" No one can resist commenting positively and out loud on this dress.

I think it is the color and the ruffles - mostly I think it is the color. Black ruffles? So done. Pink ruffles? They get noticed.

Today is the first Get Classy, Lincoln Friday (present yourself well and treat each other well - it's an informal movement to stop wearing pajama bottoms to the grocery store) and it's also my self imposed Low Impact Friday. So I biked to work in a dress, which is not uncommon for me in warm months, but I wore the pink dress and accessorized with a bike helmet that looks like a hat. It co-ordinates with the pink dress and put me in a really, really good mood despite a rough morning with growly kids who did not want to get up and go to school. The dress's good effect does not work on growly teens. But then, what does?

Pulling Up By My Bootstraps

A couple of months ago I joined a group at the YMCA to workout. We meet twice a week with a personal trainer and coordinate other work outs between us. The accountability has been good. And it has been challenging for me to try new activities - water aerobics and zumba were not on my list of ways to exercise (I thought running was exercise, but hey, I haven't been running! So I need to experiment.), but I tried them and learned that I don't like water aerobics, but I like zumba. I LOVE yoga and the other women in my group don't. I've really increased my weight training and have learned a lot about how to use different pieces of equipment at the gym that intimidated me not to mention areas of the gym that intimidate me. Like the free weight room. That room is full of men grunting and lifting stuff over their heads and slamming weights and I seriously have never even stuck my head in the room (I just hear the grunts and slams from the hallway). But my trainer really likes the free weight machines and she leads us in there and shows us which ones she likes and how to use them and we move stuff around and do what we want and I feel comfortable in a group.

One of my goals is to surf, and to surf I need to increase my upper body strength. (My assistant asked, "Aren't you afraid of sharks?" and I said, "I am more afraid of getting out into the ocean on a surf board and not being able to push up into the right position quick enough.") One of my mini goals is to do a pull up.

Ah, the elusive pull up. Girls can't do them, right? Except that they can. It just takes a lot of work.

Yesterday my trainer showed me how to use the assisted pull up machine. You climb a little ladder and stand on weight that sinks down slowly and then you can pull yourself up. Even I can do it. I can keep reducing the weight assistance and eventually I will be able to do a pull up on my own. This is unbelievable and yet conceivable to me. I felt excited and buoyant after my three sets of pull ups. And the boys are too macho to use the assisted pull up machine so I have it all to myself and don't have to worry about being in anyone's way. In fact, get out of MY way. I'm doing pull ups.

Title IX

It was a hot week while the kids were on Spring Break. The temperatures got up to 80 degrees most days and it was sunny. Mary had soccer practice every day at noon and they ran drills for hours in the hottest part of the day. I would wait at the school as her team came off the field and I was charmed by the display of camaraderie that comes so easily in team sports. The girls have a similarity with their long, lanky athletic frames and huge shin guards. In Mary's case her calves are nearly bigger around than her thighs. They smile and joke and kick a soccer ball as they move as a group to the parking lot. Mary and most of the girls this week were wearing tank tops and shorts - their long arms and legs exposed - their long hair in a pony tail or braid. There are however two girls in long sleeve tops and tights beneath their shorts. They wear the hijab or head scarf that some Muslims wear. And what struck me the first time is that they blend in with their team at first and then stand out and then blend back in. The youthful smiles are the same and the closeness with which the girls move is the same.

I get choked up over stuff like this - girl's athletics and religious diversity. My kids think I overreact to this stuff. I am glad that they are so unaware of it that they are unmoved by it.

I saw Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg speak once and her reasonable take on extremism and moderation struck deeply with me. There are disturbing things happening culturally and politically in our country and in others. I try to remind myself that beliefs and trends change. The public schools were desegregated. Girls play school sponsored team sports. Gays and lesbians are given civil rights. The physically handicapped must be given access or accommodated. We continue to face challenges regarding people who are different than us. Mary's soccer team gives me confidence that humanity will be ok - we can find similarities of purpose and maintain individuality. We can be a team.

Everything's Coming up (Roses)!

Last year was pretty horrible and stressful. I was in survival mode for months at a time and taking care of the bare minimum. The yard did not make the list last year. It has been a mild winter and a beautiful start to spring (I still worry about snow and ice and general cold, though). Frank and I spent hours yesterday and today cleaning out the dead plants from the flower beds and raking leaves from beneath the shrubs. I didn't do these chores last year and you can tell. But the work that we did this weekend made a huge difference in the appearance of the yard already and I know that it will just look better and better as my perennials find room to grow thanks to the removal of all the dead foliage.

I have projects planned for the yard for the first time in years. I really want an outdoor dining room like one I saw years ago - a table under the tree with a chandelier filled with candles. I think I will put in a small patio area by the back gate which will give us a space for the grill and it will solve the problem of the bare dirt area where the dog stands to be let in.

When other parts of your life are springing eternal it is easy to see the regenerative abilities everywhere. Yards are kind of a natural in that way.

Internet Friends

I have friends that I interact with weekly and exchange gifts and cards with that I have never met. The people who find this weird are the ones that don't have internet friends. :) We found each other in various ways and felt deep connections due to our interests or views of the world. When I travel for work I meet them to have a meal or sight see.

Heidi was one of those people. We read each other's blogs and bonded over running stories. She could tell a story about a softball game that would have me completely captivated and on the edge of my seat. When Bill and I were in San Francisco a few years ago we met. She called my hotel and left me a message with her office address - it was the first time I had ever heard her voice. And later in the day we met her at her office (she was working in advertising) and then got on a bus with her and went to her apartment to pick up her boyfriend for dinner. As we went up a hill on a bus she smiled and said, "You have no idea where you are or where you're going, do you?" and we laughed. I didn't. But when we got to the apartment I knew her cat by name and knew the panini machine on the counter by sight and knew the grade school that her boyfriend went to. We were old friends. We just had never met before. We had a great meal at a local bistro down the street from her apartment and they drove us back to our hotel. She was the first Internet Friend I met in real life.

She went on to become a writer for a paper and magazines. She travels all over the world writing about bicycling. And now she is going to ride the Tour de France! I am surprised but not surprised. Mostly I am just thrilled for her and feel a bit of a squeal just because I know her personally.

You can follow her adventures online. She has a huge following now, but I am sure you can still feel how engaging she is, my friend Heidi. :-)

Vegan is the New Plaid

Mary is taking an environmental science class and has become increasingly aware of our impact on the planet - this goes beyond just recycling and turning out the lights - she is now political about ground water, drilling, fossil fuel for cars, and plant based diets. Politically I agree with this and agree, for example, that growing grain to feed cattle instead of people is inefficient and waste of resources. But I occasionally eat meat.

She's been a vegetarian for over a year now and I have been pleased with how well she eats. She's a pretty adventurous eater and likes beans and ethnic foods, so it's not like she became a vegetarian and ate nothing but cheese pizza and nachos. Her favorite lunch is spinach salad with craisins and nuts and her favorite/go-to food has been cheese and crackers. She and Frank both prefer soy and almond milk to skim cow milk, so they already drink non-dairy milk.

And then she decided to be a vegan, which means no animals products of any kind.

"How about just consciously eating dairy?" I asked.

She sighs and shakes her head. "I want to do this," she says.

Her decision to do this coincided with the wrap up of the debate season and the beginning of soccer, so she is at school from 8-3 for school and 3-5 for debate and 5-6:30 for soccer.

We plan her meals and snacks, but I miss being able to add cheese or an egg to her meals. I pack hummus and fresh veggies and nuts and fruit. When we are out running errands, like picking up new soccer cleats and she is hungry when we don't have a snack with us, it makes it hard to find something.

"A muffin from the coffee stand?"

"They have eggs in them."

"Taco Bell? You could get a bean burrito without cheese?" I suggest while she wrinkles her nose. (We ended up stopping at a gas station and buying protein bars. I have since stocked up on those and keep them in the van and in her soccer bag.)

"I'm always hungry," she complained yesterday when I picked her up from school to take her to debate.

I think it is more her schedule than her diet, but the vegan diet complicates things because it limits what she can eat and requires lots of planning. There are world class athletes that eat plant based diets, but I bet they have access to a refrigerator and microwave all day.

The other kids in her Environmental Science class also tried to go vegan and they've been impressed with Mary's success. I roasted chick peas in cinnamon and added them to homemade granola bars which were a hit at school. One of her classmates labeled me a "culinary genius." Really I am just a concerned mom.

Healthy Granola Bar Recipe

(from the No Meat Athlete - Just Runs on Plants)

1 can of chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp natural sugar
1 1/2 cup oatmeal
1 cup whole grain cereal (like brown rice krispies)
1 cup dried fruit (craisins - always craisins at our house)

1/2 cup natural peanut butter
1/4 cup honey
3 tbs canola oil
1 tbs ground flax seed

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
Mix the ground flax seed with 1/4 cup warm water, set aside to thicken.

Toss the chickpeas in the sugar and 1 tsp of the cinnamon. Bake for 10 minutes, stir around in the pan, then back for 10 more minutes. Add the oatmeal to the pan and bake for 5 more minutes, stirring the oatmeal once.
Stir together the peanut butter, honey, canola oil, and flax paste.
Combine the chickpeas, oatmeal, cereal, dried fruits, and remaining tsp of cinnamon.
Pour the wet ingredients over the dry and stir to combine.
Press the mixture into a greased pan. My 9×13 casserole dish was just a little too big, so go for an 8×8 if you have it. Really PRESS and PACK IN the mixture as hard as you can. Refrigerate until firm, then cut into 24 bars.

I Heart Pandas

I picked Mary up at Zoo School and drove her to Lincoln High over the lunch hour. The Lincoln High debate team is headed to Norfolk for National Qualifiers.

"Do you think I will have time to work on schoolwork?" she asked as she pulled out text books and tried to fit them in her briefcase with her laptop and debate case.

"I think that you will work on your case all the way up there and then spend all afternoon and evening debating until you go to the hotel and hang out with your friends in the pool and then you're debating all day tomorrow and will probably sleep all the way home."

She laughed. "I think you're right."

At the school she pulled out her brief case, her overnight bag, and her bag of snacks.

"Do you have everything?" I asked.

"Everything but a hug!" she said.

"Have fun! Good luck!" I said.

She flashed me a smile and turned to walk into the school. Her maturity really hit me at that moment. She is only 14 years old. She reluctantly joined debate this year and I went with her to the first few tournaments to help out the team, but primarily just to get Mary to agree to go. She went from insisting that I drive her to tournaments, to suggesting that other team members ride with us, to wanting to ride the bus with her team even though I was driving separately. My mom pointed out that this is Mary's Way and she transitions slowly. It's true. And once she is comfortable, it's fine. Just a few months later she is confidently packing for an overnight trip for an important debate tournament. I was glad to see the giant panda face on her bag of snacks proclaiming, "I heart Pandas." As Mary would say, "Keep it real, bro."