Glimpses of the Future
It has been a rough year for me parenting Anna. Academics, social, family, really everything, has caused me concern and even panic. We argue and she resists even the simplest of directions from me. I cajole her out of bed and remind her about homework to hand in and she gives me permission slips for various things as I am trying to drop her off at the school...that kind of thing. I literally lay in bed unable to sleep and wonder how this child will function as an adult without me? How will she make it in college? How will she remember to hand in assignments to her boss? Who will pick up after her? I really can't imagine her showering without a reminder or feeding herself without someone cooking for her. And as a mom, I feel like I have somehow failed by not instilling these skills and traits.
But buried beneath the teenager that I butt heads with, is the adult that she will someday be. And sometimes I see the future adult and it takes my breath away. Anna walking confidently to the microphone at the Thespian Initiation and giving a monologue in a loud, clear voice. Anna holding her own in a conversation about world religion or politics. And this morning, the growly teen got up without argument and went to work. On the way there she chatted with me about how the owner is so happy with her dog washing skills and receptionist abilities that they are going to start teaching her other jobs at the dog salon. I dropped her off at the dog grooming salon and as she walked to the front door, a woman was walking in with a little dog. Anna smiled and held the door and talked to the woman and the dog with confidence and genuine pleasure. I sat in the car observing my daughter interact with a customer of hers and felt a burst of love and pride for this woman-child who has social skills that transcend my own. I saw her future and suddenly knew that she is her own person and will be ok. I was struck by that thought, Anna is going to be ok.
If you ask me, though, she still needs to pick up her room.
But buried beneath the teenager that I butt heads with, is the adult that she will someday be. And sometimes I see the future adult and it takes my breath away. Anna walking confidently to the microphone at the Thespian Initiation and giving a monologue in a loud, clear voice. Anna holding her own in a conversation about world religion or politics. And this morning, the growly teen got up without argument and went to work. On the way there she chatted with me about how the owner is so happy with her dog washing skills and receptionist abilities that they are going to start teaching her other jobs at the dog salon. I dropped her off at the dog grooming salon and as she walked to the front door, a woman was walking in with a little dog. Anna smiled and held the door and talked to the woman and the dog with confidence and genuine pleasure. I sat in the car observing my daughter interact with a customer of hers and felt a burst of love and pride for this woman-child who has social skills that transcend my own. I saw her future and suddenly knew that she is her own person and will be ok. I was struck by that thought, Anna is going to be ok.
If you ask me, though, she still needs to pick up her room.
posted by Lea at 6:18 AM
4 Comments:
Though each still so very unique, Anna and Paige are more alike than I ever could have imagined. Similar worries in their mums' minds, similar strengths and talents in the girls, and the knowing that they each will be okay.
Though, there's no picking up the room. I think that this one needs to be set on fire, rebuilt, and just begun anew.
The time for picking up rooms is not now. Got a door? Close it and move on to contests you can win. Grams
Grams is right. Choose your battles carefully and pray for the best. As a Mom, it's all you can really do.
this was a wonderful blog--i am glad you can see that she is headed towards a good place.
if it helps any, i never cleaned my room as a kid--it drove my mom nuts. now i am a neat freak. i guess her actions and words just took a little time to affect me.
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