Objects in Motion Stay in Motion
After years of scientific research (without grants of any kind, I would add) I am pleased to be before you today to discuss my findings. The data confirms that Newton's First Law of Physics does not apply to children.
As an example of this, a child who is getting dressed in the morning and has removed her pajamas, picked up her outfit for the day, and in fact has one leg in her jeans and the other leg out of her jeans, when interrupted by her mother to announce that breakfast is ready, will remove her leg from the jeans rather than just put the other one in, and will appear at the breakfast table in her underwear with no understanding of why this event makes her mother's head spin in circles. (The inability of children to comprehend their affect on adults is an entirely separate study and will not be discussed here at this time.)
As another example of this, a child who is sent to "take a shower" may begin the task by going in the bathroom, perhaps even moaning about having to take a shower, but then inexplainably, the child will stop forward motion into the shower once the door is shut. All motion directed at the shower stops and the child becomes imobalized (in this study children were observed to be in the bathroom talking on a cellphone, reading books, and even just sitting on the toilet seat cover with arms crossed).
The greatest variable appears to be the presence of an adult. With an adult present Newton's Law appears to apply and children who are sent to "take out the trash" will start out the door, go down the back sidewalk and actually place the bag in the trashcan. Children who may start this same task with adult supervision only at the begining of the task, lose inertia outside the forcefield and the bag is set down and the child's motion then shifts in another direction - to the garage or yard or even to the front door to avoid the adult.
As an example of this, a child who is getting dressed in the morning and has removed her pajamas, picked up her outfit for the day, and in fact has one leg in her jeans and the other leg out of her jeans, when interrupted by her mother to announce that breakfast is ready, will remove her leg from the jeans rather than just put the other one in, and will appear at the breakfast table in her underwear with no understanding of why this event makes her mother's head spin in circles. (The inability of children to comprehend their affect on adults is an entirely separate study and will not be discussed here at this time.)
As another example of this, a child who is sent to "take a shower" may begin the task by going in the bathroom, perhaps even moaning about having to take a shower, but then inexplainably, the child will stop forward motion into the shower once the door is shut. All motion directed at the shower stops and the child becomes imobalized (in this study children were observed to be in the bathroom talking on a cellphone, reading books, and even just sitting on the toilet seat cover with arms crossed).
The greatest variable appears to be the presence of an adult. With an adult present Newton's Law appears to apply and children who are sent to "take out the trash" will start out the door, go down the back sidewalk and actually place the bag in the trashcan. Children who may start this same task with adult supervision only at the begining of the task, lose inertia outside the forcefield and the bag is set down and the child's motion then shifts in another direction - to the garage or yard or even to the front door to avoid the adult.
posted by Lea at 6:18 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home